One of the surest ways to break your recidivistic cycle of shame is to create boundaries that are ridiculously strict and to which you will wholeheartedly commit. It's the only way you end the self-sabotage that goes on after losing self-confidence, gaining depression and rolling around in self-pity. Cut your losses. As you forge new relationships with others, especially antiheroes in the woods, end the toxic ones that are preventing you from owning up to your past and/or moving forward in newness.
It'll hurt at first. And the person on the receiving end might not like at all. But if they respect and love you, let you go so that you begin to properly heal. And who knows, they just begin healing too in the process. Set crazy boundaries and stick by them. Also, the more influential you are, the crazier the boundaries need to get. It's just your lot in life now. Accept and move on—in newness.